This list and the internet gender community in general is composed
largely of middle and upper middle class transpeople, the majority
of
whom are not "out". The actual out and active transsexuals are
the
minority but are almost always the most active in lobbying, vocal in
expressing opinions and the nuts and bolts actions of organizing, yet
they are frequently the first shoved to the back of the bus when the
groups and movements they start become more "mainstream". This
is not
just a pattern of the gender or greater queer community but of any
reform/revolutionary movement.
The breakneck speed with which NTAC attempted (and is still attempting)
to distance itself from the "BigPayback" report that gave it birth
is an
excellent example of this. Another excellent example is the choice
NTAC
leadership and membership made to pursue the Peter Oiler action and
largely ignore the Amanda Milan protests. Peter Oiler is a crossdresser
who was fired when it was discovered he was a crossdresser. Amanda
Milan a transwoman who stood up to those who would degrade her and
was
brutally murdered in front of laughing witness. Gee, no brainer
there.
Let's put the majority of our energy with the worthy middle-class
crossdresser.
This illustrates the current problem with NTAC as clearly as anything
can. Most lower class transsexuals experience job discrimination
and
are often fired from jobs or denied even minimum wage work because
they
are transsexual. No one ever organizes national protests on their
behalf. I've been fired twice myself when it was discovered I
was
transsexual and turned down for jobs that were so desperate for workers
that they were offering thousands in sign on bonuses for warm bodies!
I've personally been banned from three difference nursing homes when
co-workers discovered I was a transsexual woman. In all three
cases I
had gotten written confirmation of the excellent quality of my work
just
prior to the discovery and banning. In one case, even told to
my face
it was just because a couple of my co-workers objected to working with
a
"freak". The plight of the young inner city transies is much
much
worse. At least I have my paperwork in order. The fact
of the matter
is that middle-class transies concerned with on the job transitions
have
no clue about what is faced by the majority of transies who aren't
as
privileged. Those same middle class transies will trade away
their
dignity and allow themselves to be degraded into using rest rooms 1/4
mile away from their work stations and call that a compromise while
a
street girl stands up for herself and gets her throat cut.
The majority of transpeople are poor and un or underemployed.
They are
not working for national companies or have insurance or even able to
get
"legal" hormones. Many of them are sex workers. These are
our
kids.....*OUR* kids because we all know how families can throw away
transies. The issues of burning importance to these kids are
ones like
the fact that they are routinely turned away from shelters that have
no
idea how to deal with a transperson. They are turned away from
rape
crisis centers when they are raped because "they aren't really women".
They are often even turned away from drug and substance abuse programs
because "their gender issues detract from the others". I've never
even
seen any of this addressed by NTAC. I doubt I ever will for these
are
lower class transie issues.
NTAC forgot those street kids if it ever had them in mind to begin
with. NTAC forgot it's principles and censored it's own membership
rather than listen to honest dissent and yet still calls itself
grassroots. NTAC doesn't hold it's leadership accountable for
totally
inappropriate actions and yet bows to outside pressure to purge itself
of the more radical voices in it's midst.
I have been the center of a lot of controversy in NTAC. The simple
fact
most manage to avoid seeing is that while I do write with a lot of
emotional loading, I strive to avoid ever attacking an individual.
I am
passionate debating positions and actions but in the end responses
to me
inevitably boils down to a character assassination because they cannot
refute my positions. This has been my experience with the community
for
years now and frankly, I no longer have the stomach for it. I've
tried
in person to make jokes about this and sometimes even introduce myself
as the "evilest transie in Ohio". Recently several have tried
to extent
this to a national title. Considering the price I've paid over
the
years in being cut off from community, outed on my jobs by supposed
sisters and having even my sanity debated, I am no longer willing to
put
up with this. The fact that rarely have I been proven wrong in
my
positions in hindsight never made any difference and I have no reason
to
believe that will change now either.
Those of you who wanted me silenced here in NTAC win. The fact
is, I no
longer believe there is anything left of principles and values in NTAC
worth debating anymore. I consider all the work and energy devoted
here
a massive waste, my only remaining hopes that some in NTAC will rise
above what it's become and will graduate to become real radicals instead
of begging alliances of those who don't want them and never did.
I still have to fight for my own basic civil and employment rights on
an
ongoing almost daily basis, judging from what I've seen here recently
I
always will. I am not willing to expend any more of my precious
time or
energy to those not willing to do the same. I know who my sisters
and
brothers are. They are the Amanda Milans out there.
This transie trailer trash and professional butt wiper bids you ado,
wish I could say it's been fun, but you all have left me in tears too
many times to ever claim that.